Children of Destiny Books 1-3 (Texas: Children of Destiny Book 9) Page 15

  “This time it will be different,” he murmured. “I’ll be there with you. I’ve always wondered what you went through having Triple.”

  He was turning her. His mouth followed the wildly pulsing vein in her neck to the sensitive hollow of her throat.

  “Nick...”

  He let her go.

  His expression was grave as he studied her. “You’ve never talked about it. Was it a difficult birth?” He misunderstood the silent agony in her eyes, and his demand became more passionate. “Tell me. I have to know.”

  “Y-yes. It was difficult.” That wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth, either. Dear God! She had to do better than that. “Nick, tomorrow...we’ll talk. I’ll tell you everything,” she said desperately.

  Oh, what would he think of her when he found it was Lorrie’s pregnancy, not hers he would be hearing about? After Lorrie had nearly drowned, her pregnancy had been difficult. The baby had come early. Lorrie had been terrified, childlike, so hysterical the nurses had let Amy stay with her. Amy could still remember Lorrie’s piercing screams. They had torn her heart out.

  Nick was watching Amy, reading the emotions on her face. Then his arms wrapped around her. She breathed in the intoxicating smell of him. He crushed her face against his so that the moist softness of her cheek scraped the rough stubble of his beard. “It always upsets me when I think of you facing all of that alone. Never again, my love. I will always be with you. You must believe that.”

  Suddenly she was sobbing.

  “Why are you crying?”

  “B-because I love you so much, and I’m so afraid of losing you.”

  “You’ll never lose me.”

  He crushed her lips beneath his mouth, devouring them in a rapturous assault of passion that left her breathless and dazed.

  He kissed her again and again. Deftly his hands slid the straps of her slip down her bare arms so that the flimsy silk fell to her waist. He cupped her breasts lovingly.

  She was hardly conscious of what he did after that. Desire flooded her mind and body, sweeping her away on a dizzying tide of emotion. Amy forgot the monumental lie that stood between them. She wanted the oblivion of forgetfulness.

  As he drew her down upon the bed, she forgot everything but his dominating kisses and the fierce, keen urgency to belong to him.

  Nick fell asleep at once, but she couldn’t. As the warmth of her passion ebbed, the old icy fear stole over her heart. Amy knew what Lorrie must have felt through the years. She was beginning to realize that if she didn’t tell Nick the truth, the misery would never stop. It would always be there, twisting everything, marring with guilt even the happiest moments of their marriage.

  She got up, pulled on her robe, and went out onto the balcony. Tomorrow... How would she ever find the strength to tell him? How could she face the risk of losing him? Where would she start?

  Nick, there’s a little matter we have to talk about. It’s nothing really. It’s just that I’m not really Triple’s mother. She imagined his look of blank shock. And that’s not all. You’re not his father, either. You never should have married me...

  Dear Lord, she thought. How unbearable it would be to watch Nick’s love turn to hate.

  She looked out to sea, then across the length of the shadowed balcony, as if somehow she would find the answers she sought from that still, black infinity.

  It was then that she noticed Triple’s open door. Slowly it dawned on her that something was wrong.

  She rushed across the balcony to his room, remembering how he had said he wasn’t feeling well enough to go to the airport, how he’d insisted on going to bed before it was even dark, before they’d left for the airport. Even though he’d kept to his room more than usual lately, that had been a first. Recuperating or not, Triple had never once in his brief, active life volunteered to go to bed early.

  Amy stepped into his room and for an instant felt immediate relief when she saw her little boy’s form nestled peacefully beneath his covers.

  The room was ice-cold. She went to him. No one could sleep in such a room. Unless... Fear gripped her heart.

  He was so still, so soundless.

  No... Triple had to be all right!

  As she bent down to touch him, she saw that the figure in the bed had the gigantic head of a stuffed gorilla.

  She screamed. Then she flipped on the light and yanked back the bedspread.

  There was nothing but a carefully arranged mound of pillows and stuffed animals.

  Triple was gone.

  She was almost relieved.

  Even as she stared at the empty bed, she saw the note on the bedside table. Triple never wrote anything unless he had something important to say.

  She picked up the note. It was horribly misspelled, but it’s meaning was all too clear. Yuore not myparnets! You dnot love me!

  It could mean only one thing. Triple had found out the truth somehow.

  She should have told Nick. Oh, why hadn’t she?

  The note fell through her stiff fingers as Nick rushed into the room.

  “I heard your scream. Where’s...”

  She shuddered at the dark grimness of his features. “Gone...” Her voice trailed away. “He left...this.”

  She picked up the note and handed it to him.

  “This doesn’t explain anything! What the hell’s going on? If you know something, tell me.”

  She felt tense, afraid to speak, afraid not to. She stared at him, drinking in the carved glory of his male face, realizing in that moment how very much she had always loved him. She was so terribly close to losing him. “Oh, Nick,” she sobbed helplessly.

  Instantly he pulled her into his arms. “We’re in this together, darling. We’ll find him. It isn’t as if this is the first time he’s pulled something like this.”

  With a gasping cry of pain, she pushed him away. Bitter tears filled her eyes. She felt his strong arms try to pull her back against his chest. Even though she longed for the heat of his body to warm her, she pivoted and turned away. She was glad her back was to him, and he couldn’t see the agony and pain in her eyes. “I don’t deserve your love.”

  Again he tried to draw her into his arms and she wouldn’t let him. He looked hurt, baffled. He couldn’t know it wasn’t his touch she feared, but his anger.

  “Triple’s run away, and it’s my fault,” she said. “Nick, I’ve kept a terrible secret from you, and somehow Triple found out. He’s so little. He can’t understand. If anything happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself. You should have divorced me when you had the chance.”

  “So we’re back to that. The first crisis, and it’s, good-bye, Nick.” His face hardened. “I told you I’d give you a divorce only when you told me the truth.”

  “I don’t know where to begin.”

  “Damn it!” Anger was in every controlled move he made. “Why don’t you say whatever it is and get it over with! It couldn’t be any worse than this hellish suspense of wondering what’s wrong.”

  “It’s about Triple.” The remaining color drained from her cheeks. She bit her bottom lip until it bled.

  “What about him?” Nick demanded in a tautly edged voice.

  Seconds ticked by in silence.

  Her frightened eyes met the harsh brilliance of Nick’s. There was a hideous expectancy about him. She felt as if she were sitting on the edge of a volcano with an eruption only seconds away. Her world was about to disintegrate.

  “I’m not really his mother,” she whispered.

  Although Nick didn’t move, he seemed to loom nearer. “I don’t believe you,” he rasped. “Next you’ll be saying he’s not my son.”

  “H-he’s not.” Bitter tears of remorse filled her eyes. “Oh, Nick, I thought he was. For years I believed it!”

  “You’re lying!”

  “If only I were. I’m telling the truth.”

  “No!” he shouted. He grabbed her by the shoulders and began to shake her. Then he seemed to realize what he was
doing and let her go.

  “Triple is Lorrie and your brother Jack’s son, not ours! When she got pregnant, she told me he was your child. I believed her without even asking you. Don’t you see—”

  “No! I don’t see a damned thing!” he thundered.

  “Lorrie told me she slept with you that last night you were in L.A. I believed her. That’s why I didn’t go to Berkeley. That’s why I was so cold to you afterward, why I hated you.”

  “I slept with you that last night!”

  “But I went to your apartment after that. I saw you with Lorrie. I believed...what I thought I saw. I was so hurt, I hated you so much that I couldn’t think straight.”

  “Your hatred was nothing but a cover for your own guilt.”

  “No...” She blurted out every horrible detail in a tear-choked voice, and as he listened, his expression took on a deathly calm.

  “Why?” he whispered. “Why did you go to Sebastian in the first place and give him the impression you were the one in trouble? Why did you let me believe all these years you were Triple’s mother?”

  “Because I am his mother in every way that really counts. Because I believed you were his father.”

  “The hell you say. That’s some stupid excuse you and Lorrie concocted to cover up a coldly calculated plan. Sebastian liked you. He trusted you. He didn’t even know Lorrie. You knew Jack was too young and irresponsible to marry. You could never have pulled the wool over my eyes, so you didn’t tell me.”

  “I did believe you were his father—until a few days ago.”

  “You set me up to marry you. And you weren’t even his mother. For years I’ve lived with the guilt of what I believed I’d done to you. It killed me every time I thought of you pregnant and alone.” He laughed bitterly. “Even tonight you let me go on believing all that.”

  “I wanted to tell you the truth. Oh, Nick, I wanted to so much. But I didn’t want to ruin your parents’ visit, and after they left I was too tired.”

  “I’ve done everything in my power to try to make up to you for the wrong I thought I’d done. You went to Sebastian, took his money, and turned him against me. You let me marry you, knowing—” He paused. “I remember the way you and Lorrie were so impressed with the moneyed world, how ambitious you were—to make it on your own, you said. Hell! Not when you saw an easier way. You deliberately used Triple, Jack’s son, to get your start in the business world. You took money from Sebastian, from me. And Triple’s not even yours.”

  “I thought I had to go to Sebastian. I had to get the money to take care of Lorrie. There was no one else I could turn to. After Triple was born, I couldn’t have loved him more if he’d been my real son. I didn’t marry you for your money. I married you because I thought you had a better claim to him than I did. You might have found out I was only his aunt. There was a nurse...who knew the truth. He wasn’t even legally mine. You could have taken him.”

  The thrust of his frozen gaze pierced her like the coldest blade.

  “And when Jack died, why did you come to me then and bind me to you with your warmth and love? You must have seen how vulnerable I was. You knew exactly how to keep me on the hook, loving you, paying... What a fool I’ve been.”

  “It wasn’t like that, I swear it. You were so desperate, I was afraid for you that night. I wanted you so much the next morning, I almost told you everything. But I couldn’t because I still believed Lorrie.”

  “I don’t want to hear any more.”

  A tiny sob escaped from Amy’s lips. She turned away. “I—I can’t blame you.”

  Nick reread Triple’s note. “So he found out the truth? How can a child understand any of this if I can’t? He’s out there somewhere, hurting badly. Jack’s son. I’ve got to find him.”

  “I’ll help...”

  Nick’s mouth thinned into a cruel line, all savagery and pride. He stared down at her for a long moment. “No, thank you, darling,” he muttered viciously. “Haven’t you already done more than enough for us all?”

  “Nick, please... Try to understand.”

  He broke his gaze away from the pleading look in her eyes, cutting her out of his world as if she no longer existed.

  “I do understand,” he said coldly. “That’s the problem. You should have told me before. If something happens to Triple because you didn’t—”

  He let his unfinished statement linger in her mind like a shard of horror. He turned and was gone. She had lost him.

  Ten

  A phone rang in the house, and someone picked it up. Then silence reigned again.

  The balcony door was still open. Moonlight whitened the surf that rushed onto the pale crescent of the world-famous beach. Amy held her face up to the cold ocean breeze. Her tears felt frozen to her cheeks.

  The front door swung open and slammed. She heard Nick’s footsteps rushing down the hall toward her, and she sensed the controlled violence in his every movement.

  She was still in Triple’s room, still sitting in the silent darkness, hugging Triple’s stuffed gorilla. She felt numb, paralyzed. She’d been there for hours, worrying about Triple, grieving over Nick, yet knowing she would feel even worse when the paralyzing numbness damming up her most piercing emotions broke.

  She hadn’t gone to look for Triple because Nick hadn’t wanted her to, and because never before had she succeeded in rescuing Triple from one of his adventures. When Triple was ready, Triple rescued himself.

  “Amy!”

  “In here,” she called weakly.

  He threw open their bedroom door and slammed it. She heard other doors, opening and being thrown violently shut as he searched for her. Lights flashed on and were extinguished.

  “Amy! Damn it! Answer me!”

  “I’m in Triple’s room!”

  She bit her lip. Her hands started to shake again. Why was it that now that she knew the bliss of sharing a life and home with Nick and Triple, she had lost it all? She wanted more than anything else to make Nick happy and all she’d ever done was make him miserable.

  The door to Triple’s room crashed open.

  All she could see of Nick was his golden hair shining in the moonlight, but even before he stepped inside or spoke, she felt the smoldering fury of his presence.

  “So you’re still here?” His voice was harsh, cold.

  Inside she was dying. As he came closer, she searched his face for some sign of his former love for her.

  White-gold hair, bronzed skin stretched taut across cheekbones and jawline, the cruel line of his mouth, cold haunted eyes, his slow, tiger-like grace struck her with the powerful force of a blow to the gut.

  Gasping, she wanted to close her eyes against the shattering pain in her heart, but his cold gaze locked onto hers and wouldn’t let go.

  “Triple? D-did you find him?” There was an agonizing tightness in her throat.

  “Yes. It wasn’t so hard once I got to figuring. There was only one place he could have gone.”

  So that was the only reason Nick had come to her, she thought.

  “Thank God. He’s all right, then?”

  “He’s fine,” came Nick’s cold, low tone.

  She was relieved that her son was safe, but her heart was breaking. Only pride kept her shoulders squared and her head held high.

  “Where is he?” she managed.

  “In Texas. Somehow he got himself to the airport and stowed away in Dad’s jet. Megan just called me back a few minutes ago. She found him in a compartment in the back of the jet. Triple was running away, but now that he’s there, it’s not as great as he thought it would be. He got scared on the plane. He’s homesick. He even cried on the phone.”

  “He’s never been away—except to be with you,” Amy said softly.

  Her eyes met Nick’s pleadingly, and he turned away, as if he were determined to ignore the mute appeal.

  “I guess he didn’t know how lonely he’d feel until he left,” Nick said flatly.

  “Only Triple could pull off something so d
ramatic.”

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Nick’s cynical gaze swept her. “He comes from a wild bunch. It’s in his genes.”

  “Thank you for telling me where he is. I’ve been so worried.”

  “Megan could fly him back, but I think it’s important we go after him—together. Megan’s flying the jet to pick us up in the morning.”

  “Together? W-why? I thought you were through with me.”

  He cursed under his breath, his face taut with suppressed anger. “I could kill you for what you’ve done, but you’re the only mother Triple’s ever known.”

  Hurt and humiliation swelled inside her.

  “And I’m the only father he’s ever known,” Nick continued in the same flat, harsh tone. “We have to make him understand that we love him as much as we ever did.”

  “You mean, you aren’t going to turn your back on Triple?”

  His jaw tightened ominously. He lifted his hand. But he only raked it through his hair in a weary, defeated gesture. “Damn you,” he muttered. “What kind of man do you take me for? You aren’t Triple’s biological mother, but you love him with a mother’s love. Is it so hard to believe I could feel the same way? For years I thought Triple was my son. Do you think anything you could say or do would ever change my feelings for him? I’m crazy about Triple. No matter what you’ve done, he’ll always be mine. He’s even more precious to me now that I know he’s part of Jack. I lost my brother. I don’t want to lose Triple, and right now he’s in Texas feeling confused and alone. I came back for you only because when I told him I was coming, he begged me to bring you, too.”

  Her heart constricted. So it was really over. Nick wanted Triple, but he’d never want her. She had hurt him too deeply. What she’d done wasn’t something that could be easily forgiven or forgotten.

  “Go to bed,” he said. “I’ll spend what’s left of the night somewhere else.”

  *

  When the sun came up, Nick came into her bedroom with a cup of coffee. Amy was red eyed and pale from lack of sleep.

  “Get dressed.” His voice and eyes were as cold as the night before. “Megan will be here in an hour.”