Ultimatum: Marriage Read online
Page 10
“You do?”
“Then I think about what your father did and feel torn.”
She felt torn about her father, too. Growing up, she’d always known he was ruthlessly ambitious. In business it was so easy for those in power to ride roughshod over the little people. Of late, it was increasingly difficult for her to believe that her father was innocent, and yet she felt deeply conflicted about that. She wanted to stand by him.
“You’re driving me crazy,” Jake said. “There’s you and the baby on one side, and him and what happened, what’s still happening, on the other. I feel like I’m living in hell.”
“Me, too.”
“Time to end it,” he whispered. His hand cupped her chin. For a long moment, his eyes searched hers as if asking her for something. Then his lips took hers in a searing kiss.
“Don’t,” she pleaded, tearing her mouth free.
“We’re getting a divorce eventually, remember? I won’t complicate this horrible mess further.”
“Shut up,” he said, his voice hoarse. Then his mouth came down on hers again, claiming her in a raw act of possession while his hands and body crushed her closer.
After he explored the sweet wetness of her mouth thoroughly, warmth from his lips and tongue slowly stole through her body, making her ache for more. After feeling so alone all day, indeed for weeks, it felt thrillingly wonderful to be held and kissed with such wild abandon by a man so determined to control his emotions.
Deep down she had wanted this, too. Wanted him. Obsessed about this. Most of all she wanted to be wanted this much. When she felt his aroused manhood pushing against her thighs, his intense physical need was a healing balm to the deep psychological wound that her father’s indifference had inflicted. At least Jake wasn’t indifferent. She wanted to be loved so much. To be wanted…even just for this.
When the thrusts of Jake’s tongue took on a sexual rhythm, instead of protesting, her hands circled his neck. Her body tingling all the ways to her toes, she clung to him and sighed. She was on the verge of surrendering everything to him when she heard the sound of glass shattering at the front of the house. People in the front yard began to shout and curse.
Panting hard, furious, he jerked free of her. “Damn it, what’s going on now?”
“Sounds like another brick through your window.”
His eyes were wild as he gently smoothed her hair. “Don’t you move a single inch, sweetheart. I’m coming right back to finish what we’ve started.”
Then he was gone.
Like a sick, love-struck fool she remained paralyzed for long minutes, her blood humming. But when he didn’t come back, and her pulse slowed, her power to reason gradually returned.
Knowing all that stood between them, she could not let her passions rule her. She would not surrender so easily.
Very deliberately she walked into the house and down the hall to her bedroom.
Ten
When Jake strode back inside the front door, he was still on fire for Alicia. She wasn’t where he’d left her and she searched the house.
Breathing hard, he returned to the nursery and stood in the doorway for a long moment. Every night lately, after the constant attacks at work, he’d come here and had found comfort in this room with the soft yellow quilts and valences with blue bunnies on them. He would imagine her holding their baby, playing with it, reading to it. Imagine himself joining in, imagine them down on their knees, playing with their baby together.
He would put his arm around her and her dark eyes would shine with shared tenderness. Their baby would not want its parents to hate each other or live apart from each other. Surely she would see that.
Was he a fool to imagine such scenes? Strangely, he had begun to look forward to coming home at night just to see what else she’d done in here. He’d begun to wish she wanted to spend time with him, to wish he’d treated her differently right from the first. He hated how he’d prejudged her, blaming her for every crime her father had committed. He’d begun to wonder if he’d been wrong.
In two short weeks she’d made it a real nursery. His child had become more real to him and infinitely precious.
Even though adjusting to having her as his wife was still difficult for him and very costly professionally, he knew he’d get through this. Every evening he looked forward to leaving the office and opening this door. It was like stepping into an entirely new world, one that was full of possibility…and hope.
Was it ridiculous to dream of such a future with her when there was so much bad blood between them?
Quietly he left the nursery. Her bedroom door was closed, but the sliver brightness that lit its bottom made him suspect she was probably inside hiding from him.
Well, after the stunt he’d pulled, he damn sure had it coming. Fisting his hand, he raised it to her door. Instead of knocking, he froze as he often did in the dead of the night. The last thing he wanted to do was to scare her again.
“Alicia?” he whispered.
Something rustled on the other side of the door. Then, to his amazement, the door opened, if just a crack. Had she been waiting for him all the time?
He couldn’t see that much of her, but with her big brown eyes glimmering up at him in confusion while her dark hair fell in tangles about her throat, she was too sexy for words. It didn’t hurt that her red lips were still moist and swollen from being so thoroughly kissed.
If ever a woman looked like she needed more kissing, it was Alicia.
The permanent knot in his throat tightened and his blood began to burn again. His groin ached.
How could he live in the same house with her another night if he didn’t sleep with her? He clenched his hands and struggled to control his harsh breathing.
“I regret the caveman tactics,” he heard himself mutter hoarsely.
“I understand,” she said. Her soft voice cut his heart like sharp glass. “You’re forgiven.”
She didn’t sound like she was over their encounter any more than he was, but he didn’t call her on it.
“That’s very generous of you,” he said.
“So, what was all the excitement out front about?”
At least she hadn’t shut her door in his face.
“The usual. Another angry investor got drunk and threw a rock through our window.”
“Same window?”
“Afraid so. Luckily a couple of the reporters made themselves useful and tackled him. I told the self-righteous vandal to go home and sleep it off. Then they all wanted to interview me.”
“This is all my fault.”
“Don’t…. He’s gone for now. I’m on my way out to the garage to get a board and some nails to cover the window.”
“I’ll help you with that if you want,” she said, almost eagerly. He felt an answering excitement because her offer pleased him far too much.
He nodded.
“I’ll just get my shoes,” she said.
He liked hearing her soft-soled footsteps trailing behind him all the way out to the garage. Despite the reporters taking pictures and the hecklers yelling at them from the front yard, he enjoyed her carrying the nails for him and holding the board steady while he nailed it.
“I’ll call someone tomorrow to repair it,” he said when he was through hammering and they were safely back inside the house.
“No, let me. I’m home all day. It’s the least I can do.”
She was so sweet and so eager to please. Surely that was a good sign. “Okay. Thank you.”
She turned to go. He ached to seize her and kiss her again. But even though his heart pounded violently, he didn’t.
As her slim, solitary figure moved gracefully down the hall, he stood transfixed watching the gentle sway of her hips. Dear God… The memory of their recent kiss had him so hot with desire to hold her and kiss her again that he couldn’t resist calling after her.
“Alicia—” He caught himself then, afraid she’d see or hear something that would make her know how acute his need w
as.
She pivoted sharply. Light from the chandelier in the dining room slanted across her long neck. Her gaze was sharp, almost piercing. Why did she have to be so damned beautiful?
Too beautiful to hate.
With a start he began to dwell on the reality that he didn’t dislike her and that maybe he never had. Not even from the first. His wanting her wasn’t just lust anymore—if it ever had been. Then what was it?
What was going on here? What was happening to him?
He had thought he loved Cici, but what he felt now for Alicia was even more powerful.
He hadn’t fought for Cici. Even though Alicia was Butler’s daughter, he knew that if any man threatened her, he’d give his life to protect her.
He would never have chosen Alicia as his wife, but now that she was, he couldn’t imagine anyone else ever taking her place any more than he could imagine ever wanting to let her go. Why had he ever thought he could easily divorce her?
Maybe he would just have to accept that there were some things between a man and woman that couldn’t be explained. He didn’t know why or when she’d come to matter to him so much. But matter she did—and more every day.
The terms of his marriage which included never touching her again and divorcing her as soon as possible now seemed hellish and impossible.
“Alicia…” His voice broke.
“Yes, Jake,” she said in that soft honeyed tone that could turn him to mush.
“I was thinking…that maybe…I mean if you want to…” He sounded worse than a horny teenager awkwardly asking a girl he had a crush on out for the first time. “I mean maybe I could take you out to dinner…tomorrow night.”
Her eyes shone for a moment. “That’s not necessary, Jake. I’ve cost you as much as you’ve cost me.”
“I know it’s not necessary. That’s not the point. I want things to be different between us. Better. I mean, hell, we’re going to have a baby together. Maybe we should try to at least be cordial to each other. Friends?”
He could never be friends with her.
“All right then,” she agreed. “Dinner.”
“I’ll look forward to it.”
He held his breath, willing her to walk into his arms.
Instead, she shyly lowered her eyes, turned on her slender heel and vanished, leaving him staring after her. Marriage, he thought bitterly as he stood in the gloom, had become his own peculiar brand of hell.
“Goodbye, Jake,” Alicia said as she followed him him as he went out the back door.
Walking with him to his car every morning when he left for his office had become a pleasant routine this past month.
He turned around and waited for her. His red tie slanted across his broad chest at a cockeyed angle. If she had been his real wife, she would have reached up and straightened it. Maybe she would have kissed him on his tanned cheek and then whispered in his ear not to forget that today was her birthday.
He would ask her what she wanted and she would either tell him or tease him, saying she wanted him to surprise her.
Instead she said, “Your tie is crooked.” After a quick glance at her, he said a gruff “thanks” and straightened it.
“Is it all right now?” he asked with a smile.
A wealth of emotions hung in the air as their eyes touched briefly.
She was standing on the exact spot on the veranda where he’d seized her and kissed her a month ago.
She sighed. “Perfect.”
Although they were on much friendlier terms, she hadn’t told him today was her special day. If he didn’t know, how could he disappoint her?
Not that she hadn’t wanted to tell him. She’d held back mainly because her father had always forgotten or ignored her birthdays, and she didn’t want to risk Jake being indifferent, too.
“Who has the time for birthdays?” her father had said on more than one occasion when she’d dared complain.
Yes, a whole month had passed since Jake had kissed her against her will right here and then had apologized by taking her out to eat the next evening to an elegant meal at her favorite French restaurant in the Quarter. That night he’d gone overboard being nice and polite to her, repeating that he’d desired a less hostile relationship with the future mother of his child.
“But could you ever really forgive me?” she’d asked as the candle on their table had lit the right side of his face and eyes with golden light.
“Could you forgive me for blowing the whistle on your father? For conspiring with my brother’s CEO, Hayes Daniels, to set him up for prison?” he’d countered.
Neither had said they could. Even so, ever since he’d been exceptionally deferential toward her. She now looked forward to being with him and dreaded her evenings alone when he was away on one of his frequent business trips to Orlando.
In a state of wistful longing, she stood on the veranda until the gates closed and his SUV disappeared from view. When the phone began to ring, she ran back inside the kitchen and then stopped short when she saw the familiar name blazing on the caller ID.
She picked it up anyway. “Hello, Daddy.”
“Happy birthday, pumpkin,” he said, stunning her into silence.
“You remembered,” she finally whispered, pleased in spite of herself. Maybe he was adjusting to her marriage after all.
“I’d invite you to lunch or something…take you shopping…but…but you understand why that’s not possible.”
Since he didn’t mention he was under house arrest, neither did she. “I know. And that’s okay. I mean…it’s not okay…but—”
He interrupted her. “I know what you mean. I’d like to see you. I’ve missed you. We could still have lunch, if you brought a pizza or hamburgers over here…or carry-out from any restaurant you’d like.”
“I…I’m afraid I can’t come,” she said. Her promise to Jake stood between them.
“Oh.” His voice sounded dead and lost. “Is it because of him?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “He doesn’t think I should see you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
But it wasn’t. He sounded so down. And who could blame him?
“Are you all right?” she asked.
“No. It’s your birthday…and God knows I’ve missed enough of your birthdays in my time. Your mother always made such a fuss—over both of us. I missed the fuss as much as you did. I thought this year I might make it up to you.”
“I’ll be there within the hour,” she promised. He sounded so bleak. But as she held the phone so tightly her fingers ached she wondered how she’d ever pull a stunt like this off without Jake finding out.
“Do you need anything?” she asked.
“Razors. Toothpaste. Sugarless gum.”
He sounded so diminished. How could she possibly say no?
“I feel like a spy,” Alicia said as she slipped across her father’s threshold and he quickly shut the door behind her.
She pulled her scarves and sunglasses off and shook out her hair. When she handed her father a sack containing the items he’d requested, his hard gaze swept her. A guard slipped forward to inspect what she’d brought. Nodding, the guard backed away.
“Marriage doesn’t suit you. You look exhausted.”
In the past he’d rarely commented on her appearance if it didn’t involve the public; he’d always been too self-involved.
She could have said he looked tired, too, because he did, worrisomely so. The strong and powerful-looking father she’d admired and feared was gone. The man before her had dark rings around his eyes and was so shrunken in stature she was now several inches taller than he was. His hair was snow-white.
“Daddy, do we have to quarrel? Today?”
“I suppose not…since it’s your birthday,” he said.
She didn’t have much time to be with him. She’d told Victor she wanted to shop for the nursery in the French Quarter. Then she’d lost him and had taken a cab to her father’s mansion across town. She doubted her sun
glasses and scarves had concealed her identity from the single reporter camped outside her father’s home.
She felt guilty about giving Victor the slip and deceiving Jake, and she needed to get back to the French Quarter to find Victor within the hour. Otherwise he wouldn’t grow alarmed and alert Jake. If Jake found out she’d gone off on her own, he’d probably fire Victor.
“How could you betray me by marrying Claiborne?” her father asked.
“You never give up,” she said.
“Does he?”
“Look, I didn’t exactly want to marry him, okay?” She stopped herself. The last thing she wanted was to discuss Jake or her pregnancy.
“Well, at least you haven’t totally lost your senses. Why did you do it then? How’d he make you? What does he have on you?”
“Let’s not talk about Jake or why I married him. It’s not a good subject for us.”
“To say the least.”
After a brief pause she changed tacks. “I brought pizza. Pepperoni. Your favorite.” It was Jake’s favorite, too, but, of course, she couldn’t say that.
He gave the pizza box a long look and then shrugged before leading her into the dining room away from the guard, who remained in the living room. She set the table and her father ate in gloomy silence while she sipped tea.
His tomblike house was a whole lot quieter and lonelier than it used to be. He’d always been a man of action who worked all day and went out all night. When he’d been home, phones had rung constantly. How did he stand the silence and inactivity?
“You’re not eating?” he asked after a while.
“I’ll eat later.” She didn’t tell him that pizza upset her stomach if she ate it this early in the day. If she told him she sometimes suffered from nausea in the mornings, he’d put two and two together.
“I have a present for you,” her father said after his cup of coffee.
“There’s no need…really….”
Glancing toward the living room where the guard was on his cell phone, he got up and pulled a black ebony box that she recognized as her mother’s out of a drawer and handed it to her.
Upon opening the lacquered box, she gasped. With shaking fingers she lifted the sparkling diamond pin in the shape of a starfish from the bed of black velvet. Smiling at him, she caressed each point of the star with a fingertip, just to make sure they were all there.